What keeps me from turning lesbian? a.k.a. The worst pick up line EVER.

There are times when I wonder how men and women even get together and procreate to the point that humans still even exist. It has to be that sex is our third strongest natural urge. This is the only thing that would make some women actually have sex with some of the idiotic men out there.

Mind you, not all men are idiots. Just 90% of the ones that hit on me, it seems.

Why is this?

Do I have a neon sign over my head that says "HEY MORON, OVER HERE!" that only certain men can see?

I'm in a convenient store today... with my MOTHER... while she is picking something out of the coolers to drink, I am leaning against an isle of canned goods. Tall, blond and ok looking walks past me and smiles and (totally ruins it) says... and I quote:

"I didn't know they sold you here! How much?"

I roll my eyes, disgusted, and say... "You could not afford me."

To which he replies... "Well, I don't want to keep you honey, I just want to rent you."

*sigh* I tell him that he also can't afford that long of a hospital stay and walk away.

So we go up to the counter and my mother and I get there at the same time as tall and blond. He lets us go first.

Damage is already done, buddy.

The next register opens and he moves to that one. He pays for his stuff and leaves right before we do. He has the nerve to smile and wave as he pulls out. I have enough control to not flip him off in front of my father who is waiting out in the van. So I hop in and say to my father:

"Dad, get ready to follow that car and get your shot gun out."

My father.... is right on it. He doesn't ask for any explanation, no. Instead, the first thing out of his mouth is.... "WHICH car?"

I <3 him.

PS: To add insult to injury for this day. I rush through my workout so I can run home and catch the last two periods of the Penguin's game. I'm listening to it in the car and we are up 3-0. The Capitols won the game 4-3. It was disgusting. Thus, the listening to the Godsmack and head banging and wishing for a good ol' fashioned mosh pit to let out some steam.

Question that cannot be answered....

Why do we do the things to ourselves that we do? We get a little mental nudge that tells us.. "No, this is a mistake." But we do it anyways.

Those crossroads.

Just once can't there be a sign posted so we don't have to wonder "What if?" anymore?

We have signs for everything else... even on the pyramids (those ancient comedians) posted the first 'THIS SIDE UP' on one of the massive stones when they got bored and decided to have some fun.

What if? And, you know, why did I not listen to myself in the first place?

Next time, I'm going to ask for a sign and if an enormous stone falls on my head that reads THIS SIDE DOWN; then so be it. At least I'll know.